Recently, I had gone to meet my best friend & it was a pre-planned visit as she insisted that she needs to talk to me in person. I sensed that something is wrong and she was disturbed. Though we are best friends, we don’t meet often. It was after a long time we were going to meet. It was a pleasant evening, kids playing in the swings & slides, few elderly people doing their brisk walks while few middle aged women having their gossips updated. There she was! sitting in the bench to the left side of the park entrance. She was gazing at those kids lost in thoughts. I then walked towards her. Hey! Are you in this world? mocked at her. She gave me an unconvincing smile and I sat beside her. We had our small talks initially asking about each other & about her families. Then came a silence where we glanced at each other not knowing where to start.
She held my hand and started to pour out her tears. I understood what the problem could be. She then went ahead letting out her problems. Her issues with her relationship, the stress at work, financial troubles and the list goes on. I sat there and listened to her until she felt completely okay after letting out everything in her mind. Uff..!! I could see that relief in her.
We all have friends but nowadays how many of us really take time to listen and understand? Everyone one of us are busy in our own ways and when we hang out with friends it’s just meant to be for fun, movies or parties. The dark part is often held within us. Some may feel insecure to share, some has the habit of keeping in to oneself while others don’t find people to listen.
Yes, it’s so important that we listen to someone who is trying to let out their emotions. The things they share irrespective of whether it’s silly or serious, giving an ear to them matters. We may not be able to fix issues and they will be aware of that as well. It’s just that they need someone to listen and reciprocate.
“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort” ~Roy T. Bennett
But then there is something more important in listening. TRUST & not being JUDGEMENTAL. When somebody vent out their true emotions, it’s really important that we keep it to ourselves and we never judge them of their choices or decisions they had made. Advice not works always, so give it only if you could imagine yourself in their place or if you think that they are expecting it from you. Someone’s stories or feelings may mean nothing to you but it can be everything to them. So do respect it & listen.
By the way, I forgot to mention. It was good meeting my friend. After that long story of her’s she felt relaxed. We then had some chit chats and finally when we parted, there was a smile in her face. That is the joy I received at the end of the day.
Below points mentioned by Roy, caught my eyes and thought would add to this post of mine.
7 Effective Ways to Make Others Feel Important by Roy T. Bennett
1. Use their name.
2. Express sincere gratitude.
3. Do more listening than talking.
4. Talk more about them than about you.
5. Be authentically interested.
6. Be sincere in your praise.
7. Show you care.