Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~Maya Angelou Last summer I was able to take some time off work and fly to Paris. On one particular day while on vacation, I bravely chose to wander the crowded […] […]Choose Your Attitude Don’t Let It Choose You — Dr. Eric Perry, PhD
Has anyone realized that the mere thoughts about life or the scenarios you had to face makes you physically tired? If not, you can have it checked the next time as it’s something usual but we hardly realize.
It’s so important we live our life’s in the way we like. We all atleast once, would have come across the phrase “What would others think?” especially if you are an Indian. Well most of the time, our generation has an answer to it “I don’t care”. Perhaps, not all of us could follow the I don’t care policy as people are pressurized to the situations they are put up. It could be the thought about our parents, we unwilling does things which doesn’t excites us. But what is the gain in it? We sacrifice so much for our parents & family but is that all understood or reciprocated in a way which gives us happiness. Not often,I would say. Some may disagree with me while few doesn’t want to disclose it. It may not be the case in everyone’s life, but definitely it is a part of anyone who has taken up that responsibility of their family at a younger age. They do love their family but it’s just that they are locked up within the unbreakable boundaries.
Seldom, I have observed in people that I know, about handling such scenarios. Have wondered as well as respected such people. Not to mention that, I have also felt how it would feel like to restrict oneself from many things they would aspire to do.
There is something we all have to accept that, no matter what, our parents & family will always be there with us. Just because taking sometime for ourself will never tear them apart from our lives. Let it be choosing a decision to study or work abroad, be it buying something for yourself or maybe dressing up of your choice, even if it’s choosing your life partner, or anything which is bringing a joy to you should never be compromised. Our parents though they may oppose or dislike our decisions initially would definitely realize and stand with us always. The hard feelings they have with us will always fade away in the flow of our lives.
“Don’t feel bad for wanting what you want and going for it.” ~Izey Victoria Odiase
So pals, let’s live a life we wanted and not just bound ourselves in a shell we our our society creates. Live and let live. 😊
Who doesn’t love some silence? This was one such night of mine. One of my favorite pass time during night shifts is to go for a long walk, take some clicks like this, drink a black coffee and then push myself back to work. By the way, I bug my shift parter( my bro, as I call him) to join me. At times we go together else it happens to be my Me-Time. So this click happened during one such Me-Time. Yes, that’s my office building.
An awesome weather, no much people outside the blocks, so much of silence, the chill & tender breeze was brushing my skin as I walked. The only thing missing was that someone special to be by my side(Lovely weather would make anyone feel romantic. Don’t they?? 🙄) Well, it’s office anyway.😉 Amidst enjoying such a lovely time, got a call. It’s already an hour by then. I didn’t notice the time ticking. Now, that’s not my imaginary bf. It’s my bro calling..asking me to get back to work. I had to hault that enjoyment. However I managed to get this lovely click to add to my memory. ❤️
Recently, I had gone to meet my best friend & it was a pre-planned visit as she insisted that she needs to talk to me in person. I sensed that something is wrong and she was disturbed. Though we are best friends, we don’t meet often. It was after a long time we were going to meet. It was a pleasant evening, kids playing in the swings & slides, few elderly people doing their brisk walks while few middle aged women having their gossips updated. There she was! sitting in the bench to the left side of the park entrance. She was gazing at those kids lost in thoughts. I then walked towards her. Hey! Are you in this world? mocked at her. She gave me an unconvincing smile and I sat beside her. We had our small talks initially asking about each other & about her families. Then came a silence where we glanced at each other not knowing where to start.
She held my hand and started to pour out her tears. I understood what the problem could be. She then went ahead letting out her problems. Her issues with her relationship, the stress at work, financial troubles and the list goes on. I sat there and listened to her until she felt completely okay after letting out everything in her mind. Uff..!! I could see that relief in her.
We all have friends but nowadays how many of us really take time to listen and understand? Everyone one of us are busy in our own ways and when we hang out with friends it’s just meant to be for fun, movies or parties. The dark part is often held within us. Some may feel insecure to share, some has the habit of keeping in to oneself while others don’t find people to listen.
Yes, it’s so important that we listen to someone who is trying to let out their emotions. The things they share irrespective of whether it’s silly or serious, giving an ear to them matters. We may not be able to fix issues and they will be aware of that as well. It’s just that they need someone to listen and reciprocate.
“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort” ~Roy T. Bennett
But then there is something more important in listening. TRUST & not being JUDGEMENTAL. When somebody vent out their true emotions, it’s really important that we keep it to ourselves and we never judge them of their choices or decisions they had made. Advice not works always, so give it only if you could imagine yourself in their place or if you think that they are expecting it from you. Someone’s stories or feelings may mean nothing to you but it can be everything to them. So do respect it & listen.
By the way, I forgot to mention. It was good meeting my friend. After that long story of her’s she felt relaxed. We then had some chit chats and finally when we parted, there was a smile in her face. That is the joy I received at the end of the day.
Below points mentioned by Roy, caught my eyes and thought would add to this post of mine.
7 Effective Ways to Make Others Feel Important by Roy T. Bennett
1. Use their name.
2. Express sincere gratitude.
3. Do more listening than talking.
4. Talk more about them than about you.
5. Be authentically interested.
6. Be sincere in your praise.
7. Show you care.
Well, I thought of taking some time to write this evening. Everybody has expectations from people they care. It may not be a very big one but often they are little things. If those expectations are met, it gives immense happiness but when not it’s a disaster. Anger, one of the biggest output of such disaster I would say. Let me take myself as an example here. I’m a very sensitive person & so for me a little thing can disturb me so much. I have a close friend and we are not just talking since a very long time and I thought of initiating a conversation(Saying myself in mind, not to expect a reply). As expected, Oh, forgot to mention that, I was having this devil and angel in mind, the devil was whispering that there will be no response & why do you even sent a text message. Finally devil was right. There was no response and no blue tick even so far(Whatsapp brought this blue ticks to pressurize us at times). Then started the drama, though I was trying not to expect, I was expecting already and the disappointment just turned out to lash out in anger. Irritation for the sounds you hear, angry on mom for not making us a coffee(It was supposed to be an espresso) as decided earlier and I’m sure it will take some time for me to get back to normal. My point here is, this can be a silly reason but then it’s a simple truth that a very little thing can spoil our entire day. I won’t say not to expect but it’s always better we keep it low to ourselves as the damages caused can be minimal.
Couldn’t ignore the below which I just came across. Adding this with my post to make it more meaningful…